Aby-a-Day – 2 June: Logan’s last cat bed (Swedish Saturday)

When pets are cremated in Sweden, it seems the pet crematoriums return the ashes to you in a simple, pine box. This is how Björn received the ashes of first Olivia and then Pyret, and that’s how we got Logan back from the vet as well.

rorylogansashesC04934

Lorelai came to see what was left of the brother and show companion she will never get to meet.

rorylogansashesC04943

Bittersweet photo, isn’t it? Hang one, more where that came from.

rorylogansashesC04948

To my surprise, when I opened the box Logan’s ashes came in, they were just loose inside! Back in the States, you would get the ashes in a box, sure, but the ashes inside the box were in a plastic bag of some sort.

freddyrorylogansashesC04959

Alfred also came to investigate Logan’s loose ashes. Yeah, that’s the more bittersweet thing I mentioned earlier.

loganashesC05765

Of course, for Harri and Patrick, I had lovely urns made by Alex in Welderland, and while I love them, another would be too heavy and too expensive to ship from the States to Europe. Gun-Hee didn’t have so much as an urn as a “memorial box” which included a flask of his ashes along with other souvenirs of his short life. I looked online for cat urn options in Europe and eventually discovered Etsy seller 1st4Signs.

freddyloganashesC05766

It’s really beautiful. The box is oak, with an engraved slate top and a photo of Logan. Of course, Freddy was on hand to help me put his brother from another mother into his final cat bed.

freddyloganashesC05771

I poured Logan’s ashes into the fancy new box. They fit perfectly.

freddyloganashesC05779

Then we put the lid back on.

jakefreddycocologanashesC05791

jakefreddycocologanashesC05792

It fastens with two brass screws. Jacoby came to see what was going on while I was screwing the lid back on.

jakefreddycocologanashesC05795

Not sure how a screwdriver equals a possible meal, but all right…

freddyjakeloganashesC05808

There we are. Logan is in his final resting place.

freddyjakeloganashesC05811

Freddy and Jake say goodbye to Logan one last time.

jakeloganashesC05826

No Jake…this won’t be you for a very, very long time. I hope.

loganashesC05849

For now, Logan is on the windowsill near Björn’s computer underneath which Pyret loved to sleep, next to Pyret and Olivia’s ash-boxes. Eventually we’ll have everyone’s ashes on one shelf somewhere. It just seems so sad that the older we get, the more little boxes of ashes we collect.

(Also…and I am sorry it’s such a depressing post…but, happy birthday, Sherry!)

Aby-a-Day – 1 May: Bringing Logan home

Today Björn and I went to Jönköping to collect Logan’s ashes.

loganashesboxC03233

loganashesboxC03238

His ashes came packed in a very nice cardboard box. They even put a little gold heart sticker on it. (It says “Contains wooden cremation urn” on the label.)

freddyloganashesboxC03231

Of course, Alfred came to see what I was doing.

freddyloganashesboxC03229

Is he looking up to StarClan to see if he can see Logan?

loganashesC03246

Inside the cardboard box was this little wooden urn. They put a label with Logan’s name on it. This seems to be the common urn for cat ashes in Sweden; both Pyret and Björn’s other cat, Olivia, have identical urns.

However, this little box is not Logan’s final resting place. I’ve ordered an absolutely brilliant little casket of oak and slate with his photo on it from an Etsy seller in the UK (that’s the proof of it above). You may remember my special welded urns for my Siamese boys, Harri and Patrick, but it would cost a bomb to have one of those shipped here to Sweden. But this is perfect for Logan.

And on the way home on the train, it rained…and we saw the rainbow at the top of the post.

Aby-a-Day – 26 April: The two holes in our house (Thursday Things)

Remember what you were doing in February? In February, we had a happy household with five cats.

Now, we only have three. It feels very empty. We will get another Aby soon…it was in the works before we knew Logan was even sick. And we do want to add another Singapura someday. They are so much fun to show!

pyretloganC01847

But that is all in the future. Right now, it’s just too hard to stop looking at the past.

Aby-a-Day – 22 April: The Watch that Ends the Night

Alfred was so lonely after Logan went to the Djursjukhuset in Jönköping.

freddycarrierIMG_2942

I got a call from the vet in Jönköping on Friday the 13th, of all days, that Logan was going to die. He had a surgical biopsy of his mesenteric lymph nodes. In his belly, they found gelled fluid indicative of FIP. After Pyret, and the way all the cats paid their respects to her, I knew I couldn’t let Logan die without saying good-bye to his brother from another mother.

freddytrainIMG_2956

freddytrainIMG_2946

So I bundled Freddy up and took him with me to Jönköping to say good-bye to our Logan.

jkingvetIMG_2961

We had to wait in the cats-only waiting area first, where there were lots of certificates announcing how cat-friendly the hospital is.

catsoftheworldIMG_2924

They also had this awesome poster showing Cats of the World. The Abys were much better than on the last poster I saw in a vet’s office…and there is a Singapura on it, too!

freddyjkpingvetIMG_2962

Eventually, we were taken to a room. Not a hospital room, but an office-type room, with computers and a comfy leather sofa.

loganfreddyjkpingvetIMG_2966

The vet tech brought Logan in, and Freddy was right there to greet him.

cocologanjkpingvet<

Then I cradled my baby and cried over him.

cocologanjkpingvetIMG_2979

Being on his back was uncomfortable for him, so I held him turned over. I wore my Porg T-shirt because Logan was my little Porg.

freddyloganjkpingvetIMG_2982

Freddy didn’t care that Logan was wearing the Cone of Shame. He was just happy to see his brother from another mother.

loganfreddyjkpingvetIMG_2992

loganfreddyjkpingvetIMG_2993

Logan struggling to get into the carrier with Freddy after the vet tech took off the Cone of Shame. I have no words to express how much I miss his love of Freddy. And his funny facea.

loganfreddyjkpingvetIMG_2999

We had to wait a while before it was out turn. We didn’t mind.

loganjkpingvetIMG_3019

Logan was so weak and tired. He had had surgery, blood tests and so much else done to him those last few days. But still he hung on.

loganfreddyjkpingvetIMG_3011

He was happy to be with Freddy.

loganfreddyjkpingvetIMG_3018

Finally, the vet tech came back with all the syringes. Because the doctor was tied up with an emergency, she was going to administer the drugs.

loganfreddyjkpingvetIMG_3026

She flushed out his port with saline before starting the euthanasia procedure. I didn’t take photos of that. I wouldn’t normally have taken as many photos of all this as I did, but Björn was away that weekend on his Hemvärnet exercises, and he couldn’t be there to see Logan that last time. So I took these for him, and also for Lisa, his breeder.

loganfreddyjkpingvetIMG_3028

All clear.

loganfreddyjkpingvetIMG_3031

He started receiving the sedatives first. While they started to work and make Logan drowsy, Freddy was right there with him.

loganfreddyjkpingvetIMG_3032

Brothers to the end.

loganfreddyjkpingvetIMG_3036

Finally the last needle was given, and Logan left us. They gave us a blue towel to wrap him in, and Freddy said his last goodbye.

logangonejkpingvetIMG_3037

I hated to leave him alone in that empty room, so I left one of his favourite fishes with him. It’s been just a little over a week since he died, and Freddy and I are so lost. He was our little dude, and we miss him.

Aby-a-Day – 16 April: Beginning of the end…

Vide. It means “pussywillow” in Swedish and “empty” in French. Ironically appropriate.

Also appropriate: the British meaning of the word “gutted” for this feeling I have right now.

arsenalIMG_2741

Logan was losing weight, but I fed him kitten food, Hill’s A/D, Royal Canin Convelescence, and Aptus Reconvalescent Paste.

I called the vet on Tuesday, and the first appointment available was Friday. We took it.

loganvetIMG_2721

loganvetIMG_2723

Logan was thin, but he didn’t look sick.

loganvetIMG_2724

He definitely didn’t have the swollen, fluid-filled belly.

loganvetIMG_2726

loganvetIMG_2725

Logan needed an ultrasound of his belly, but there was another patient in that room, so we had to wait.

ultrasoundIMG_2727

We finally went in. I don’t have any photos of him getting his ultrasound because I was busy helping to hold him.

loganbloodIMG_E2918

After the ultrasound, they took samples of Logan’s blood for testing.

loganvetIMG_2728

He did not like that.

loganvetIMG_2729

Although I think he was more upset about having to have a bandage on his arm than the actual blood draw.

loganvetIMG_2731

“Can we please go home now, mom?”

And when we did, all we could do was wait for the test results. It was a very long weekend.

Aby-a-Day – 15 April: A post I never thought I’d be making this soon (Serious Sunday)

Logan joined StarClan yesterday around 17:20 in Jönköping. Alfred and I were with him at the end. He was killed by FIP, ten years after my first Abyssinian, Gun-Hee, was murdered by the same virus. Ten years of research, and we still lose our cats to this horrible disease.

I have a lot to process (and not just photos)…but I will tell the whole story over the next few days. But to summarise, after the judge at the Winners Show said she thought Logan was thin, I weighed him as soon as we got home. And yes, Logan had lost weight since the last time he’d been weighed (I weigh all the cats every other week, when I clip claws), so I took him to our vet here in Skövde. I called on Tuesday, and the first appointment we could get was on Friday. They ran blood tests, but we didn’t get any results until very late Monday night, and the rest of the results came in Tuesday afternoon. They said he needed to go to the nearest big animal hospital, which is in Jönköping, an hour train ride from Skövde. So on Wednesday, Logan was admitted for more tests, feeding and hydration, and a possible biopsy. For a while, we thought it might not be FIP, since he had enlarged lymph nodes and anemia, and didn’t show the classic signs of FIP, like the swollen belly that Gun-Hee had. But on Friday the 13th, after they opened his abdomen up to surgically biopsy his mesenteric lymph nodes, they found the tell-tale fluid in his abdomen. It was a gelly rather than free fluid, which is why is wasn’t so obviously FIP.

freddylogangoodbyeIMG_2971

So on Saturday, Freddy and I took the train to Jönköping to say goodbye to our friend. The vet tech (whose name I sadly did not get) brought him into the room and Freddy went right over to him.

logangoodbyeIMG_2978

Then I got to hold him. I wore my Porg shirt because they always remind me of Logan.

freddylogangoodbyeIMG_2981

He didn’t like being held on his back, so I turned him over and Freddy was back to check on him.

freddylogangoodbyeIMG_2995

Freddy went back into the carrier, and the sweetest thing happened. Logan started squirming in my hands. I wasn’t sure what was wrong, but the tech exclaimed, “Oh! He wants to go into the carrier with Freddy!” And he did. I made a short video of the two of them (click the above image to view); Freddy hissed a little at Logan’s funny smell, but they cuddled together like they always have.

freddylogangoodbyeIMG_3023

Up until that moment, I thought I brought Freddy to say goodbye to help Freddy deal with the loss of his Brother From Another Mother. But bringing Freddy was as much – if not more – for Logan.

purringIMG_3022

Turn up the volume…Logan was so happy to see Freddy and me he was purring! (Click image to play.) The tech was called away for an emergency, so we had a little more time together. Logan was so tired, though.

freddylogangoodbyeIMG_3030

Finally, the tech returned and the sedation and final injection process began. We stayed with him until they confirmed he was really gone.

My heart has joined The Thousand, for my friend has stopped running today.

Goodbye, my little dollbaby. May StarClan light your path. May you find good hunting, swift running, and shelter when you sleep. There will soon be a new star in the night sky.

SE*Melur Vide “Logan” – 9 March 2017-14 April 2018

Aby-a-Day – 7 March: Goodbye, Pyret (Wordless Wednesday)

pyretgoneC01737

pyretloganbalconyC01733