Aby-a-Day – 20 April: “Hold my hands; kiss my forehead, hug me and look in my eyes; maybe today is the last day you can do this.”

Logan did not want to leave us.

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He loved our apartment and everything in it.

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Logan was my little shadow. He would get up and follow me if I left the room, even if I wasn’t headed towards the kitchen. He always wanted to sleep on me, not next to me.

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Jacoby hissed at him, but Logan didn’t care. He loved Jake, too.

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He loved our balcony with it’s chairs and cat tree.

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I am glad the weather was getting warmer so he could enjoy it again.

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Logan loved being with Alfred on the balcony, of course.

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He also loved this chair.

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If I couldn’t find him anywhere else, I knew he’d be on his chair. Towards the end, I fed him out there, on his chair.

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But mostly, he just loved being where I was.

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I miss him being underfoot.

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And I keep looking back at his corner of the sofa, behind me, where he loved to sleep while I worked on my computer…working on photos of him and the others, writing blog posts…I miss my small but mighty boy.

Aby-a-Day – 19 April: Keeping his weight up

Logan’s weight went from 3.4 kg on 4 March to 2.9 kg on 8 April. At first, I didn’t think much of it, all the cats eat a little less and seem to lose wight when spring comes and there’s more daylight.

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But the last weekend, Logan wouldn’t eat anything. Not even freshly cooked chicken or lamb. He also wouldn’t drink – and he used to love to drink from the fountain.

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So I had to feed him and hydrate him. I fed him a gruel of Hill’s A/D and Royal Canin Convelescence, and gave him Oralade to hydrate him and give him electrolytes.

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When Gun-Hee was sick, we were told to give him Pedialyte…but they don’t seem to have that in Sweden (and I have no idea what one would do if they needed to give a baby electrolytes, either). But Oralade is actually better, since it’s balanced for cats and includes taurine. And it’s chicken flavoured!

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Logan really didn’t want to eat, and he hated having to eat from the syringes, but he tolerated it so well. The least he would do was push my hands away. But I think he knew I was trying to help him.

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I had a routine: One 10ml syringe of Oralade, then one 20ml syringe of the food mixture, and then another 10ml of Oralade.

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It could get a little messy. I know that bothered Logan, too, because he was such a fastidious little guy.

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Oh, I miss his expressions!

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You have to go slow while feeding like this. You have to give the cat time to swallow, and make sure he doesn’t accidentally inhale any of the food or liquid.

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We also took clean-up breaks.

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Come on, little Logey! Just a little bit more…

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…and, we’re done. Good job!

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Wipe the chin a little bit…there we go.

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Okay, now just one more little syringe of the Oralade…

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…there you go. Good!

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See how he’s holding onto my arm? I miss those little hands…

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…and that funny, funny face.

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The whole feeding process took about 20 minutes. I fed him every four to six hours starting on the first Friday night (6 April) until Wednesday when we went to the Djursjukhuset in Jönköping (11 April).

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This is how he looked on Sunday, 8 April, after eating. He really didn’t look like an FIP cat. And the best news is, I was able to hold his weight steady at 2.8-2.9 kg by our scale until we went to the animal hospital on Wednesday. I haven’t accomplished that much in my life, but this is one of my proudest achievements.

Aby-a-Day – 16 April: Beginning of the end…

Vide. It means “pussywillow” in Swedish and “empty” in French. Ironically appropriate.

Also appropriate: the British meaning of the word “gutted” for this feeling I have right now.

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Logan was losing weight, but I fed him kitten food, Hill’s A/D, Royal Canin Convelescence, and Aptus Reconvalescent Paste.

I called the vet on Tuesday, and the first appointment available was Friday. We took it.

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Logan was thin, but he didn’t look sick.

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He definitely didn’t have the swollen, fluid-filled belly.

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Logan needed an ultrasound of his belly, but there was another patient in that room, so we had to wait.

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We finally went in. I don’t have any photos of him getting his ultrasound because I was busy helping to hold him.

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After the ultrasound, they took samples of Logan’s blood for testing.

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He did not like that.

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Although I think he was more upset about having to have a bandage on his arm than the actual blood draw.

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“Can we please go home now, mom?”

And when we did, all we could do was wait for the test results. It was a very long weekend.

Aby-a-Day – 15 April: A post I never thought I’d be making this soon (Serious Sunday)

Logan joined StarClan yesterday around 17:20 in Jönköping. Alfred and I were with him at the end. He was killed by FIP, ten years after my first Abyssinian, Gun-Hee, was murdered by the same virus. Ten years of research, and we still lose our cats to this horrible disease.

I have a lot to process (and not just photos)…but I will tell the whole story over the next few days. But to summarise, after the judge at the Winners Show said she thought Logan was thin, I weighed him as soon as we got home. And yes, Logan had lost weight since the last time he’d been weighed (I weigh all the cats every other week, when I clip claws), so I took him to our vet here in Skövde. I called on Tuesday, and the first appointment we could get was on Friday. They ran blood tests, but we didn’t get any results until very late Monday night, and the rest of the results came in Tuesday afternoon. They said he needed to go to the nearest big animal hospital, which is in Jönköping, an hour train ride from Skövde. So on Wednesday, Logan was admitted for more tests, feeding and hydration, and a possible biopsy. For a while, we thought it might not be FIP, since he had enlarged lymph nodes and anemia, and didn’t show the classic signs of FIP, like the swollen belly that Gun-Hee had. But on Friday the 13th, after they opened his abdomen up to surgically biopsy his mesenteric lymph nodes, they found the tell-tale fluid in his abdomen. It was a gelly rather than free fluid, which is why is wasn’t so obviously FIP.

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So on Saturday, Freddy and I took the train to Jönköping to say goodbye to our friend. The vet tech (whose name I sadly did not get) brought him into the room and Freddy went right over to him.

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Then I got to hold him. I wore my Porg shirt because they always remind me of Logan.

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He didn’t like being held on his back, so I turned him over and Freddy was back to check on him.

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Freddy went back into the carrier, and the sweetest thing happened. Logan started squirming in my hands. I wasn’t sure what was wrong, but the tech exclaimed, “Oh! He wants to go into the carrier with Freddy!” And he did. I made a short video of the two of them (click the above image to view); Freddy hissed a little at Logan’s funny smell, but they cuddled together like they always have.

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Up until that moment, I thought I brought Freddy to say goodbye to help Freddy deal with the loss of his Brother From Another Mother. But bringing Freddy was as much – if not more – for Logan.

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Turn up the volume…Logan was so happy to see Freddy and me he was purring! (Click image to play.) The tech was called away for an emergency, so we had a little more time together. Logan was so tired, though.

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Finally, the tech returned and the sedation and final injection process began. We stayed with him until they confirmed he was really gone.

My heart has joined The Thousand, for my friend has stopped running today.

Goodbye, my little dollbaby. May StarClan light your path. May you find good hunting, swift running, and shelter when you sleep. There will soon be a new star in the night sky.

SE*Melur Vide “Logan” – 9 March 2017-14 April 2018

Other People’s Abys: Maisy Hunts with StarClan

I cannot believe I am writing this post. I cannot believe that this is happening.

Back in January, I reported the sad news that my friend Kelli lost her Aby Emmy. In March, she adopted a new Aby girl, Maisy.

Sadly, just this past weekend, Maisy was diagnosed with FIP and Kelli made the horrible, painful decision to put her to sleep. Losing two beloved Abys in less than six months…oh, Kelli.

It’s especially painful since Kelli and I met because we shared a loss of Abys to FIP, her Maggie and my Gun-Hee. It’s never easy to lose a cat…but it’s so much harder when they don’t even get a chance to grow up.

My heart has joined the Thousand, for my friend has stopped running today. Sleep well in Tuonela, dear Maisy.

Aby-a-Day – June 28: Remembering Gun-Hee

Today is the 8th anniversary of Gun-Hee’s death.

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Actually, he was murdered. Murdered by that malicious serial killer known as FIP.

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He was so miserable when he was sick.

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It’s true what they say. They do tell you when it’s time.

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I still miss him every day. I wish Jacoby could have met his half-brother.

My heart has joined The Thousand…

Sad news this morning…Jacoby’s niece, Pellburn Cassia Alexdandrina joined StarClan yesterday. It was FIP, the same as her uncles Gun-Hee and Rusty. Cassia was Jake’s littermate-brother Dillin’s daughter.

I hope Sherry is doing okay in this time of sadness.