Aby-a-Day – 3 June: Brotherhood of thieves (Friday Flashback)

Yesterday, I posted Jacoby’s latest caper, breaking into my Redbones takeaway and stealing and eating a whole rib!

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Well, he isn’t the only Aby I’ve had with a criminal history. His half-brother Gun-Hee was quite the thief himself. Like the time he stole hot dogs and dragged them into his house

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…or the time he stole a butter wrapper

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…or the time he stole a hunk of lamb while I was bleeding…yeah, you get the idea.

Other People’s Abys: Toilet Humour

I found this amazing drawing on deviantART, and I had to share it with you:


Toilet Humor by ~kenket on deviantART

Isn’t it brilliant? I would love a print of this to hang in my bathroom…And not just because it totally reminds me of Jacoby…

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Yeah, I could see him doing this.

Aby-a-Day – July 30: Things that go “bump” (and also “crash” and “bang”) in the night

Living with Abys turns you into a detective, a forensic scientist, and a very light sleeper. The other night, we’d all gone to bed and the house was dark and quiet when I heard a

CRASH!

from the general direction of the kitchen. It sounded plastic, rather than glass, so I wasn’t really alarmed. I reckoned it was just the plastic measuring cup we keep on the counter. But the sound continued, evolving into more of a BANGing, and sounding as though it was migrating from the kitchen towards the bedroom. Muttering words beginning with the letters W, T, and F, I got up to investigate and found this:

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Jacoby and Tessie went to the groomer’s this past Sunday, makes their own treats, including granulated chicken powder for sprinkling on top of food. I picked one up and tried it on their canned food Sunday and Monday nights, but they didn’t seem to be overly excited by it, so I skipped it the next couple of nights. And that’s what was being used by a hockey puck across the floors of our apartment.

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I have to apologise for the lack of photo quality on these; I couldn’t find a flashlight, so I used the flashlight app on my phone…which is actually a good thing, since if I’d actually had the flashlight there wouldn’t be any photographic evidence of this at all (and this becomes important later).

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The culprit was Jacoby, of course. (Who else could it possibly have been?) Doesn’t he seem proud of his accomplishment?

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I picked up the shaker container and put it back in the kitchen, carefully securing it in the little box we keep all the cat food additives and supplements in. Then I went back to bed.

In the morning I’m getting ready for work when I hear my husband say, “What is all this powder all over the place!? What happened?” And when I go to look, I see what he’s talking about; the shaker was back in the entryway, having somehow been separated from its cap, which was on the living room rug. The little wooden box had been knocked off of the counter and its contents were scattered all over the kitchen floor. And granulated chicken powder was everywhere!

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“Why didn’t you make sure the lid was on tight?” my husband asked me. “I DID!” I retorted. “In fact, I haven’t even opened it for days. I didn’t think they liked this powder that much, so I haven’t used it recently.”

“Then how did it get opened?” was his next question. And it’s a really good one, too. I have no freaking clue how it got opened. The lid on that bottle is a screw-top, and it’s smooth. I have no idea how anyone could open that thing without thumbs. Jake, either alone or with one or more accomplices, must have worked all night long on getting it open. Since there wasn’t any powder in the kitchen, and the lid was in the living room, it didn’t open on impact after being knocked from the counter to the floor.

I really need to set up some kind of motion-activated video camera to solve these sorts of mysteries.

Aby-a-Day – Day 349 of 365

15 December 2006 is when we brought Gun-Hee home. This was, of course, ten days before his first Christmas.

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And his first Christmas tree.

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He waited until Christmas night before trying to climb the tree.

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But once he figured it out, we couldn’t keep him on the floor!

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It was really high up, too! The predecessor to the tree we have now, I believe this tree was 7′ tall. I guess I’m lucky Jake’s never gotten it into his little Aby brain to climb the tree…

K.M.D. in the Kitchen

One morning last week I woke up, went into the kitchen…and discovered this:


And of course there was little doubt as to who was responsible for this crime against rice…

KMD strikes again!

I just got this voicemail:
“Okay, so I’m in the living room, checking my email, and for like, an hour, I didn’t know where Gun-Hee and Tessie were because I didn’t see them. Then, I start hearing meows and scratchings, and I’m like, what the hell is going on? So I try to look for them in the bedroom, and they had some project going underneath the desk. What they had done was, Gun-Hee had gotten one of the fish filters and ripped it apart, and the charcoal inside was all over the place and Tessie was batting it around! The filter was completely empty and I spent like 20 minutes vacuuming it all up. Bad kitties!”

I called back to get the full story, because the filters are assemble-yourself ones and I make a few ahead and keep them in a cheap “tupperware” take-out container with a cracked lid for ventilation. Evidently, Gun-Hee had chewed his way through the lid to get the filter! While I was on the phone, it was discovered that he’d also knocked over the pitcher of extra fishtank water. Not only that, he’d also worked open the feeding door on the top of the tank and had been sticking his hands in.

(In relaying the story to my stepmom, she asked, “‘Hands?’ You mean, paws?” And I said, “No, with Gun-Hee, they’re really more like little hands, the way he uses them.”)

It’s funny, though, because he really hasn’t paid much attention to the fish since February…but apparently he’s rediscovered them!

Someone’s in the kitchen with Coco

For breakfast on Sunday morning, I made Japanese-style scrambled eggs with beef. I turned around to close the refrigerator door, and when I turned around I discovered I’d acquired a sous-chef.


Everybody’s a critic…

When being silly turns ugly…

The things Gun-Hee does, even after all this time, crack me the hell up. Yesterday morning, he decided he needed to crawl underneath the hallway carpet…


And then Tessie went and walked on his head…

Every single holiday, Gun-Hee in a box

We got a new coffeemaker. This is what happened to the box it came in…


Gun-Hee in a box!

The Check is in the Male

So this morning, for whatever reason, Gun-Hee had it in for this check I needed to deposit…


Bearing in mind that this is after he woke me up at 4am so I could throw his milkring for a game of fetch…

Butter up!

Gun-Hee just stole butter! My husband was cooking and left it on the counter to soften.

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Next thing he knows, the butter is gone…Gun-Hee had dragged it into the Fort Under the Chairs (his second-favourite place to hide after his cage; I think the butter – which was sitting on the open wrapper – was too hard to drag all the way to his cage), just licking away. My husband salvaged the butter he needed to finish cooking, and I managed to recreate the scene with the wrapper.

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Mmmmm…

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No remorse. None. Whatsoever.

Garbage Cat

6:30, Saturday morning. I’m awakened by a crash in the kitchen…and it takes a lot to wake me up. So of course I went to investigate…


…and found this!

Gun-Hee attacks a LOAF OF BREAD

No, really. I got a loaf of bread at the farmer’s market in South Station and brought it home. That’s all I did.

Who knew Gun-Hee was into bread?

Sunday Funnies

It would be hard to convey the hilarity that ensues chez us every Sunday morning when the newspaper gets brought in. Even these photos don’t really capture it…

Gun-Hee and his Collar

So, before he was born, when we were in Japan, I bought Gun-Hee a collar at Pet City in Tokyo. We bought one for all the cats including my future boy kitten. Of course, he was too small to wear it at first. But after we got home from the last cat show, I put it on him.

That was May 6th. On May 16th (his 8 month birthday) I noticed it was starting to get chewed up. I mean, really chewed up.


That’s after only ten days of wearing it! Ten days!

I have no idea why he decided his new collar needed to be chewed. None of the other cats saw a need to chew on their collars (well, okay, the girls didn’t, and Patrick couldn’t given his whole lack of teeth situation)…But I mean, Japan. Kimono fabric. Not like I can just go down to the shops and get him a new one, you know?

And I figured out why he was chewing it, too. He was trying to chew it off. Because for a few weeks before the cat show, I took his collar off so that his neck wouldn’t have collar-hair. He wears tags on his collar – all the cats do – partially in case they get out, but also because it helps us to keep track of where they are by the sound of their tags. So guess who’s decided he doesn’t like making noise? Without his collar, he can sneak up on the other cats, and he can get into more trouble before we catch him at it.

I know that’s what he’s doing too, because when he gets tired of wearing his harness, he chews at the buckle. Not the other side, only the side where the buckle is, because he knows that’s how we put it on and take it off.

So I got him a new collar on Wednesday. Leather with little diamond studs. I think he looks really cute in it.


But now, here’s the thing: I noticed yesterday that he has already started chewing the new collar!

Sigh. So I took it to my house, got out my tool box, and put some rivets in the collar where he’d been chewing it.


I also trimmed the end…because he’d been chewing that as well.

As a friend said when I told her the story, “You weren’t kidding when you called him the Kitten of Mass Destruction!”

Gun-Hee on the Lamb

We’ve been ordering groceries online from Peapod and getting them delivered. This works well, but sometimes not seeing exactly what you’re buying leads to some surprises. Over the weekend I was shopping and noticed that they had Australian Semi-Boneless Leg of Lamb (5-7lbs ) legs of lamb on sale. Well, I like lamb, it was an excellent price ($1.99 per pound!), we have one of those food sealers and room in the freezer and the leg has less fat to cut off than other cuts. So I ordered one.

I wasn’t really prepared for how huge this thing was going to be. It was closer to the 7lbs than the 5, and I swear it was as big as the cats. And as for semi-boneless? It had an entire hip joint and part of a femur, so I can only guess the “semi” referred to the fact that the bones had been cut. It was also sheathed in a half-inch of solid fat; yes, the leg is a leaner cut, but it’s not fat-free…the fat is just all on the outside and easier to remove. So I got out a knife and just went for it.

It took me about twenty minutes to trim the fat and carve the thing up into freezable meal-sized portions. As soon as I unwrapped it, Gun-Hee was swarming (if you don’t think a single cat can swarm, you’ve never seen a determined Abyssinian) so I locked him up in his show cage. He kept meowing as I cut, with different tones, volumes and inflections, and I couldn’t resist translating, “Hey, I’m in here! Remember the kitten? Yep, still in the cage. Hey wait, where’s the kitten? Oh, right, still in the cage. What are: the plugged-in iron, your mom’s birthday, and a kitten in a cage? Things you better not forget! You guys? You are gonna let me out of here, right? Mom! Mom? You know I’m in here, right?”

I managed to cut myself while dealing with a particularly nasty bit of fat, but didn’t want to deal with it til I’d finished with the meat. Once all the packaged future meals were safely in the freezer, and the small pieces I wanted to eat were set aside, I turned on the Foreman Grill and went to the bathroom to get a Band-Aid…not realising that Gun-Hee had been let out of the cage. Next thing I hear is a loud crash, and then, “Sweetie! Gun-Hee has your meat!”

“Wait…I’m putting a Band-Aid on…what?”
“Gun-Hee took your meat and he’s running around with it!”

I finish my first aid and go into the living room, where Gun-Hee is crouched under the coffee table with the largest piece of lamb. I take it away from him and go into the kitchen, where I find the other pieces of my dinner on the floor. I’d had them on a paper plate in the centre of the stove, on top of the broiler pan that lives there part time, while the Foreman was heating up. The crash was the broiler pan reacting to the introduction of a 6½ month old carnivorous force of nature landing on it and then using it as a launching pad. Gun-Hee goes back into his cage, I rinse off the meat and pop it onto the grill…and I’m just laughing the entire time.

“Why did you leave the meat out like that?” My husband asked.
“I needed to get a Band-Aid on…and it was just there for a second while the grill was heating!” I said.
“Well, you should have known Gun-Hee’d go straight for it!”
“Yeah, well…I hadn’t realised you’d let him out…” then I collapse in giggles again. “You know, he took the biggest of all the pieces, right?”

My husband laughs too. “He took off with it, too.”
“He didn’t eat any of it though. He just grabbed it and ran off!”
“What was he thinking? He can’t have thought he’d get away with that!”

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