Aby-a-Day – 8 Augusti: Two words you never want to hear at a cat show: “Cat out!” (Thursday Things)

Especially when it’s your cat.

Sunday at the show, after Izaak had been judged and we were waiting for the Nominations, Lorelai was called up for her Nomination at the same time. So Björn had Rory and I had Zak. Then I dropped my phone and it came out of its case. I needed two hands to put it back in, so I handed Zak over to Björn. Then Zak started to cough up a hairball.

I raced over to the Secretary’s table and grabbed a piece of scratch paper, and got Zak to puke on it. Björn was right next to us, so I asked him to grab Zak whilst I dealt with the barf. In the time between me letting him go and Björn grabbing him…

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…he decided this space under the folded-up bleachers (the show hall’s day job is a basketball arena). And he. Would not. Come. OUT. When he doesn’t want to be caught, he is a master. They announced that a cat was loose and to close all the doors, but I was like, “Yeah, no. The doors are the least of our worries!” He’s roaming around underneath the bleachers, and he’s up for Nomination like NOW

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Finally, a woman with Siamese working the Secretary’s table called to me. She saw Zak in the corner, near her stroller. They asked me if I had any food that would lure him out. I said, “No…he won’t eat anything but raw and chicken necks. Does anyone have a raw chicken neck?” Yeah, nobody did. I had grabbed Chirpy Mouse and Zak’s favourite wand toy (a fishing lure blue crab I picked up in Baltimore), so we tried those. Chirpy Mouse had no effect, but Blue Crab got his attention. I almost grabbed him…but then he backed away. He wandered around a little more, and then came back to that corner, and, with the help of Blue Crab, I was able to grab him. The judge he was up for Nomination with, Glenn Sjöbom, asked me if I was okay and patted me on the back, telling me not to worry and not feel like I needed to rush. When he actually got nominated, I held him up, and, during the applause, I said to him, “You. Do. NOT. Deserve. This!”

I repeated that when he was declared Best In Show.

I don’t have any photos of the actual events…I was too busy trying to catch the little asshole.

But here’s the punchline to the whole escapade: Just after it happened my friend Kinsey posted on Facebook that Zak’s brother, Paolo had escaped that morning and led her on a merry chase around the neighbourhood before she managed to catch him again. He wears a tracker on his collar that she can track on her mobile.

One of her friends commented that it could only happen to Kinsey, and I chimed in, “Nope, not just Kinsey. Today at the cat show, Izaak, Paolo and Keiko’s younger brother, escaped and went exploring under the bleachers!”. To which Kinsey explained, “Must be in their genes. Paolo did that at a cat show once and I was on my hands and knees under the benches trying to get him.”

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They ARE full brothers, perhaps not littermate brothers, but brothers nonetheless. Kinsey’s always posting about Paolo’s adventures…and by the smug, “sorry, not sorry” look on Zak’s face, I suspect I will be, too.

Aby-a-Day . 3 Januari: He’s not completely evil…(Thursday Things)

So. We know for certain that it is Alfred who is opening and ransacking our kitchen cabinet.

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But what I didn’t know…

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…was that he also tried to chew into packets of rice noodles! Dried rice noodles are as far from anything cat-edidble that…I can’t even.. Freddy, WTF were you thinking!?

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But Freddy isn’t entirely evil. I did laundry and piled it onto our bed.

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And look at what he did! He napped next to the laundry, not on the laundry. So, okay…he’s not a completely evil genius!

Aby-a-Day – 2 June: Meat-Seeking Missile

Yesterday was my birthday, so I went to Davis Square to get a pedicure. Afterwards, I was hungry, so I stopped by Redbones to have what will most likely be my last barbecue from them in a while.

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When I called to place my order, I mentioned that I was moving to Sweden, and the girl I spoke with wrote this on my bag! I know…awwwww…

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I will miss this place.

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When I got home, I set the bag with my takeaway in it down and made the fatal mistake of leaving it unattended. And just look what happened!

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Jacoby chewed through the plastic bag, the paper bag, AND the cardboard takeout box…and stole a rib and ATE it!

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You can see how guilty and remorseful he felt about it, too.

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He had already had his evening meal, too!

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But seriously, I want you all to take another look at the hole he made. I mean, this was not a random accidental opening. He focused on one corner and attacked with surgical precision. Jake knew exactly what he was doing and how to do it.

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He seems a bit sad that there is no meat left on the bone. He really stripped off every last bit…and then, while I was eating my share of the meal, he actually had the nerve to ask me to give him more! I hope Björn is ready for this rivningskula.

Aby-a-Day – 30 April: “Coffee” (Saturday Photo Hunt)

This week’s Photo Hunt subject is “Coffee.”

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Jacoby uses the coffeemaker, along with all the other countertop appliances, as a place to stand when I tell him to “get off the counter.”

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Because the last thing Jake needs is coffee. Can you just imagine? A caffeinated Aby?

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“Coffee? Sounds delicious! Yes, please, may I have some?”

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NO! Now get off the counter, Jake.

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Good boy!

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But you still can’t have any coffee.

Aby-a-Day – 28 April: I licked it, so it’s mine.

Most people are familiar with the concept of “I licked it, so it’s mine.”

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Abyssinians have perfected this idea and made it into an art form.

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Take, for example this poor unsuspecting baguette that did nothing wrong. It was simply brought home from the grocery and set down on the kitchen counter.

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And just look what happened!

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Oh, the breadmanity.

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And was Jacoby content with merely licking the part of the loaf that was sticking out of the bag?

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No, of course he wasn’t.

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He folded his ears back and pushed his head and raspy tongue in as far as he could to lick as much of the bread as felinely possible.

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He would have bitten into it, too, but the crust on a loaf of French bread is pretty hard, so Jake had to content himself with licking. Biting it would be too much work.

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What really gets me, though, is his sheer brazenness and chutzpah. I mean, I was standing right there, watching him. He licked it anyway. So there, humans.

Aby-a-Day – December 3: Crash!

So tonight, I was in my room, setting up to have a FaceTime session with Björn…

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When I heard a CRASH!

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Well…of course I had to go see what was going on.

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Somehow, for some reason, someone managed to get one of the burner covers off the stove and onto the floor.

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These things are heavy iron. And they interlink with one another. It’s incredibly hard to get them off the stovetop and onto the floor, especially if you don’t have opposable thumbs or leverage. I have no idea how it was done.

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“What?”

Aby-a-Day – November 22: Hey that’s MINE! (Selfish Sunday)

Yep, you read that right. Instead of Selfie Sunday, we’re having SELFISH Sunday.

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I had put a package of delicious blueberry and maple syrup chicken breakfast sausages out on the counter to warm up before I cooked them. I thought that Jacoby would be in mid-afternoon nap mode, and wouldn’t notice them…and if he did, I figured the air-tight sealed package would have a fairly inert scent, and the blueberry and maple syrup would deter him. Yeah…right.

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I was doing something in the bathroom when I heard Jake playing with something. It sounded like he was having fun and I wanted to see what he was doing…and I found my dinner on the carpet! The little fiend was trying to open the package!

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I snatched it back and put it back in the kitchen. Do you think he was repentant?

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Are you kidding?

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He tried to steal it again, right in front of me! I ended up putting them inside the microwave (aka the Aby-proof food safe).

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This is what they looked like when I took them out of the package to cook them.

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MMMmmm…nothing like ABC* sausages! But it is funny…he is just like his brother Gun-Hee when it comes to sneaky thievery! The only difference is, Gun-Hee would take things to his house, while Jake’s safe place is the bedroom, apparently.

*Already Been Chewed.