Aby-a-Day – 15 April: A post I never thought I’d be making this soon (Serious Sunday)

Logan joined StarClan yesterday around 17:20 in Jönköping. Alfred and I were with him at the end. He was killed by FIP, ten years after my first Abyssinian, Gun-Hee, was murdered by the same virus. Ten years of research, and we still lose our cats to this horrible disease.

I have a lot to process (and not just photos)…but I will tell the whole story over the next few days. But to summarise, after the judge at the Winners Show said she thought Logan was thin, I weighed him as soon as we got home. And yes, Logan had lost weight since the last time he’d been weighed (I weigh all the cats every other week, when I clip claws), so I took him to our vet here in Skövde. I called on Tuesday, and the first appointment we could get was on Friday. They ran blood tests, but we didn’t get any results until very late Monday night, and the rest of the results came in Tuesday afternoon. They said he needed to go to the nearest big animal hospital, which is in Jönköping, an hour train ride from Skövde. So on Wednesday, Logan was admitted for more tests, feeding and hydration, and a possible biopsy. For a while, we thought it might not be FIP, since he had enlarged lymph nodes and anemia, and didn’t show the classic signs of FIP, like the swollen belly that Gun-Hee had. But on Friday the 13th, after they opened his abdomen up to surgically biopsy his mesenteric lymph nodes, they found the tell-tale fluid in his abdomen. It was a gelly rather than free fluid, which is why is wasn’t so obviously FIP.

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So on Saturday, Freddy and I took the train to Jönköping to say goodbye to our friend. The vet tech (whose name I sadly did not get) brought him into the room and Freddy went right over to him.

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Then I got to hold him. I wore my Porg shirt because they always remind me of Logan.

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He didn’t like being held on his back, so I turned him over and Freddy was back to check on him.

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Freddy went back into the carrier, and the sweetest thing happened. Logan started squirming in my hands. I wasn’t sure what was wrong, but the tech exclaimed, “Oh! He wants to go into the carrier with Freddy!” And he did. I made a short video of the two of them (click the above image to view); Freddy hissed a little at Logan’s funny smell, but they cuddled together like they always have.

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Up until that moment, I thought I brought Freddy to say goodbye to help Freddy deal with the loss of his Brother From Another Mother. But bringing Freddy was as much – if not more – for Logan.

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Turn up the volume…Logan was so happy to see Freddy and me he was purring! (Click image to play.) The tech was called away for an emergency, so we had a little more time together. Logan was so tired, though.

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Finally, the tech returned and the sedation and final injection process began. We stayed with him until they confirmed he was really gone.

My heart has joined The Thousand, for my friend has stopped running today.

Goodbye, my little dollbaby. May StarClan light your path. May you find good hunting, swift running, and shelter when you sleep. There will soon be a new star in the night sky.

SE*Melur Vide “Logan” – 9 March 2017-14 April 2018

31 thoughts on “Aby-a-Day – 15 April: A post I never thought I’d be making this soon (Serious Sunday)

  1. Oh ! I am so sorry to read this ! Several years ago I lost 3 fosters to FIP. It is a terrible disease and so heartbreaking . Logan was so young and had so much promise ! I am so glad he and Freddy got to comfort each other and say good-bye. Hugs to you and the others.

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  2. Oh I am in tears, my heart is breaking for you Coco.
    When you feel like responding I have a couple questions about FIP.

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    1. Sure. I have some links in the old posts about Gun-Hee and also I think in the links sidebar (which I really need to update)…or search under tags for FIP.

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      1. Actually it’s more a personal question. I want your personal opinion, I’ve read all the links. I’ll PM you on Facebook.

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  3. Oh no – this is heartbreaking. I’m so sorry. I know how much you love our babies, especially such a young one. Fly free little Logan.

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  4. Oh, no how utterly sad! This sweet little baby should have had many years to come!
    My thoughts are with you! ❤

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  5. Oh Koshka, I cannot believe I am reading this. In the face of such an apocalyptically unfair loss I can only say: Logan had the good luck to live with one of the most awesome human/cat families I’ve ever seen online or off. He had 13 moons of a wonderful life. Most of all he had you, whose care and love gave him joy, whose gifts as an artist and a writer have created a memorial for him that will live as long as the internet does, and whose wisdom and generosity protected him from suffering at the end. Good-bye lovely Logan. All of us hope your mom feels some comfort in the Twilight Zone of grief very soon.

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  6. I lost my first Ragdoll Elliot to FIP in 1997, at the same age as Logan. By now there should have been something – screening, prevention, treatment – anything. It has always felt like the cruelest disease to me, and it seems exceptionally unfair that you have faced it twice, Koshka. To say that I am sorry for your loss doesn’t begin to express what I am feeling, but those are the only words that I have. Hugs to you, Björn, Jake, Angel, and Freddy as you walk through these first, hardest days. I will always remember your little Singa Logan, thanks to the photos and stories you have shared.

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  7. How can I write through tears streaming for the little cat who has stolen our hearts just by seeing and hearing about his antics. You and Bjorn don’t deserve so much sadness.

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  8. Ann Colchin said it perfectly. This is just so sad. The StarClan mithos is beautiful. Is there an FIP foundation to which I can make a gift in Logan’s name?

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  9. I am so sorry to hear about Logan. My heart goes out to you, Bjorn, Jacoby, Angel, and Freddie for your loss. I can’t believe this has happened to your special family a second time. I am too an Aby lover, owning my third aby, and have been following your blog since Gun-Hee was a year old. I was devastated when FIP took Gun-Hee and now to hear it took beautiful Logan is unbearable. I am in tears writing this. Your are a special mom taking Freddie to see his brother one last time. Not many in this world would put their kitties first when experiencing such sorrow and pain. My aby Rico and I send much love (and head butts) to your family. Please give all your special kitties a hug for us. And know that Gun-Hee has already found Logan and they are running and playing with Pyret watching over them in the Rainbow Bridge.

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  10. My human and I were so sad to see this earlier today. My human is especially upset because FIP is such a horrible disease, and how terrible to have to deal with it with this beautiful boy, after going through it a decade earlier with Gun-Hee. Lots of purrs to you and your family.

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  11. So so sorry Coco! Thank you for sharing all the lovely moments with your sweet guy. Fly free lovely Logan. FIP is so horrible.

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  12. So glad I was able to hold your hand from 6,200 km away as Logan left us all,
    However, I am transpired anew by your ability to paint, in writing, a perfect, exquisite,
    picture for all to share. It is no wonder we are all in tears..Thank you…

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    1. I am too. You, Meg, Björn, my sister and Lisa were all with me in this and it really helped.
      And thank you for the compliment. I need to write that story about my finger for Teresa…

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  13. Oh my god, Coco! I am crying, reading this, saying, “No! No! No!” I cannot believe this. He was much, much too young and way cute and I was so looking forward to many more pictures and adventures between him and Freddie. Life is sometimes Just Not Fair. I don’t know what to say except for that I am so very sorry for your loss. So very sorry.

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  14. This breaks my heart. Sitting here crying. So, so hard to lose them. I am so sorry this happened to you again. So sudden, so unexpected. Hugs to you and Bjorn. ❤

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  15. Godspeed your journey to heaven Logan; we did not have the honor of knowing you, yet wanted
    to still say how very sorry we are. We send hugs to your entire family; FIP is wicked; we wish there
    were a cure ~~~~~ ♥♥♥♥♥

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  16. Oh Coco, not again! I have not been online for several days and just saw this. The one thing I do try to catch up on is your posts. I am crying and so sad for you and Björn and Freddy. Logan lived a wonderful life with you, just so unfair you lost him so young 😢

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