Aby-a-Day – 22 April: The Watch that Ends the Night

Alfred was so lonely after Logan went to the Djursjukhuset in Jönköping.

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I got a call from the vet in Jönköping on Friday the 13th, of all days, that Logn was going to die. He had a surgical biopsy of his mesenteric lymph nodes. In his belly, they found gelled fluid indicative of FIP. After Pyret, and the way all the cats paid their respects to her, I knew I couldn’t let Logan die without saying good-bye to his brother from another mother.

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So I bundled Freddy up and took him with me to Jönköping to say good-bye to our Logan.

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We had to wait in the cats-only waiting area first, where there were lots of certificates announcing how cat-friendly the hospital is.

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They also had this awesome poster showing Cats of the World. The Abys were much better than on the last poster I saw in a vet’s office…and there is a Singapura on it, too!

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Eventually, we were taken to a room. Not a hospital room, but an office-type room, with computers and a comfy leather sofa.

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The vet tech brought Logan in, and Freddy was right there to greet him.

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Then I cradled my baby and cried over him.

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Being on his back was uncomfortable for him, so I held him turned over. I wore my Porg T-shirt because Logan was my little Porg.

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Freddy didn’t care that Logan was wearing the Cone of Shame. He was just happy to see his brother from another mother.

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Logan struggling to get into the carrier with Freddy after the vet tech took off the Cone of Shame. I have no words to express how much I miss his love of Freddy. And his funny facea.

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We had to wait a while before it was out turn. We didn’t mind.

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Logan was so weak and tired. He had had surgery, blood tests and so much else done to him those last few days. But still he hung on.

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He was happy to be with Freddy.

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Finally, the vet tech came back with all the syringes. Because the doctor was tied up with an emergency, she was going to administer the drugs.

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She flushed out his port with saline before starting the euthanasia procedure. I didn’t take photos of that. I wouldn’t normally have taken as many photos of all this as I did, but Björn was away that weekend on his Hemvärnet exercises, and he couldn’t be there to see Logan that last time. So I took these for him, and also for Lisa, his breeder.

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All clear.

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He started receiving the sedatives first. While they started to work and make Logan drowsy, Freddy was right there with him.

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Brothers to the end.

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Finally the last needle was given, and Logan left us. They gave us a blue towel to wrap him in, and Freddy said his last goodbye.

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I hated to leave him alone in that empty room, so I left one of his favourite fishes with him. It’s been just a little over a week since he died, and Freddy and I are so lost. He was our little dude, and we miss him.

Aby-a-Day – 21 April: Last Train to Jönköping

On Wednesday, 11 April, Logan left home for the last time.

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We took a 15:55 train from Skövde to Jönköping to see the Djursjukhuset. Logan loved to look out the window on the train.

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But he loved sitting in my lap even more.

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in Jönköping, there’s even a bus stop named for the animal hospital…how cool is that?

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When we got to the hospital, they showed us into a room. Logan was weighed and had his temperature taken, and he was given a little bed to sit in. This hospital has a colour scheme to rank urgency: Red is life or death; Yellow is not quite life or death, but the nest best thing; Green is well…it might be serious, and it’s good you came in when you did; and Blue is you can come back tomorrow, you’re not dying. They told me that Logan was between Yellow and Green

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They had excellent Cat TV in the room we were in. This nuthatch was one of the actors.

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Logan liked the bed the vets made him…

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…but still…

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…no bed is as good as mummy’s lap.

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Then they came to take some blood samples and put in a catheter port.

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We got some…but poor Logan wasn’t happy about it.

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They put a red bandage on his arm.

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After some more waiting, the transport cage came to take Logan to his hospital enclosure.

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Logan was skeptical, to say the least.

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Poor Logan…all he wanted was the bandage off his arm…if he only knew…

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Eventually, Logan got into the transport cage.

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While Logan was in hospital, the vet staff texted me photos of Logan every morning. This was Thursday morning…

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…And this was Saturday morning, after his biopsy surgery on Friday.

Aby-a-Day – 20 April: “Hold my hands; kiss my forehead, hug me and look in my eyes; maybe today is the last day you can do this.”

Logan did not want to leave us.

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He loved our apartment and everything in it.

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Logan was my little shadow. He would get up and follow me if I left the room, even if I wasn’t headed towards the kitchen. He always wanted to sleep on me, not next to me.

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Jacoby hissed at him, but Logan didn’t care. He loved Jake, too.

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He loved our balcony with it’s chairs and cat tree.

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I am glad the weather was getting warmer so he could enjoy it again.

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Logan loved being with Alfred on the balcony, of course.

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He also loved this chair.

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If I couldn’t find him anywhere else, I knew he’d be on his chair. Towards the end, I fed him out there, on his chair.

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But mostly, he just loved being where I was.

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I miss him being underfoot.

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And I keep looking back at his corner of the sofa, behind me, where he loved to sleep while I worked on my computer…working on photos of him and the others, writing blog posts…I miss my small but mighty boy.

Aby-a-Day – 19 April: Keeping his weight up

Logan’s weight went from 3.4 kg on 4 March to 2.9 kg on 8 April. At first, I didn’t think much of it, all the cats eat a little less and seem to lose wight when spring comes and there’s more daylight.

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But the last weekend, Logan wouldn’t eat anything. Not even freshly cooked chicken or lamb. He also wouldn’t drink – and he used to love to drink from the fountain.

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So I had to feed him and hydrate him. I fed him a gruel of Hill’s A/D and Royal Canin Convelescence, and gave him Oralade to hydrate him and give him electrolytes.

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When Gun-Hee was sick, we were told to give him Pedialyte…but they don’t seem to have that in Sweden (and I have no idea what one would do if they needed to give a baby electrolytes, either). But Oralade is actually better, since it’s balanced for cats and includes taurine. And it’s chicken flavoured!

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Logan really didn’t want to eat, and he hated having to eat from the syringes, but he tolerated it so well. The least he would do was push my hands away. But I think he knew I was trying to help him.

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I had a routine: One 10ml syringe of Oralade, then one 20ml syringe of the food mixture, and then another 10ml of Oralade.

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It could get a little messy. I know that bothered Logan, too, because he was such a fastidious little guy.

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Oh, I miss his expressions!

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You have to go slow while feeding like this. You have to give the cat time to swallow, and make sure he doesn’t accidentally inhale any of the food or liquid.

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We also took clean-up breaks.

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Come on, little Logey! Just a little bit more…

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…and, we’re done. Good job!

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Wipe the chin a little bit…there we go.

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Okay, now just one more little syringe of the Oralade…

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…there you go. Good!

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See how he’s holding onto my arm? I miss those little hands…

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…and that funny, funny face.

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The whole feeding process took about 20 minutes. I fed him every four to six hours starting on the first Friday night (6 April) until Wednesday when we went to the Djursjukhuset in Jönköping (11 April).

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This is how he looked on Sunday, 8 April, after eating. He really didn’t look like an FIP cat. And the best news is, I was able to hold his weight steady at 2.8-2.9 kg by our scale until we went to the animal hospital on Wednesday. I haven’t accomplished that much in my life, but this is one of my proudest achievements.

Aby-a-Day – 18 April: Wordless Wednesday (Brothers from another mother)

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Aby-a-Day – 17 April: When we got married (Cartoon Tuesday)

I had this post scheduled long before I even knew Logan was sick…But I will leave it here and come back to my Logan eulogy tomorrow. Thank you all for your comments…I read all of them if I don’t always respond. Just know that Björn and I are grateful for all of you.)

Tomorrow is the second anniversary of Björn’s and my wedding. Last year, Emma drew this picture of what she thought our wedding looked like. Okay…Jacoby wasn’t there, and my hair isn’t that long…but otherwise it’s pretty accurate!

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This is what we really looked like. See? Pretty close, right?

Aby-a-Day – 16 April: Beginning of the end…

Vide. It means “pussywillow” in Swedish and “empty” in French. Ironically appropriate.

Also appropriate: the British meaning of the word “gutted” for this feeling I have right now.

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Logan was losing weight, but I fed him kitten food, Hill’s A/D, Royal Canin Convelescence, and Aptus Reconvalescent Paste.

I called the vet on Tuesday, and the first appointment available was Friday. We took it.

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Logan was thin, but he didn’t look sick.

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He definitely didn’t have the swollen, fluid-filled belly.

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Logan needed an ultrasound of his belly, but there was another patient in that room, so we had to wait.

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We finally went in. I don’t have any photos of him getting his ultrasound because I was busy helping to hold him.

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After the ultrasound, they took samples of Logan’s blood for testing.

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He did not like that.

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Although I think he was more upset about having to have a bandage on his arm than the actual blood draw.

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“Can we please go home now, mom?”

And when we did, all we could do was wait for the test results. It was a very long weekend.